Actual Self

According to Karen Horney, "when an individual shifts his center of gravity to his idealized self, he not only exalts himself but also is bound to look at his actual self—all that he is at a given time, body, mind, healthy and neurotic—from a wrong perspective" (1950, pg. 110).

"The best way to describe the situation is in terms of two people. There is the unique, ideal person; and there is an omnipresent stranger (the actual self), always interfering, disturbing, embarrassing. Describing the conflict in terms of "he and the stranger" seems pertinent because it comes close to what the individual feels. Moreover, even though he may discard factual disturbances as irrelevant or unrelated to himself, he can never escape so far from himself as not to "register" them. Although he may be successful, may function fairly well, or even be carried away by grandiose fantasies of unique achievement, he will nevertheless feel inferior or insecure. He may have a gnawing feeling of being a bluff, a fraud, a freak—feelings for which he cannot account. His inside knowledge of himself shows unmistakably in his dreams, when he is close to the reality of himself.

"Usually the reality of himself intrudes painfully and unmistakably. Godlike in his imagination, he is awkward in social situations. Wanting to make an indelible impression on somebody, his hands shake or he stammers or blushes. Feeling himself a unique lover, he may suddenly be impotent. Speaking in his imagination to his boss like a man, he merely musters a silly smile. The brilliant remark which would settle a discussion for good and all occurs to him only the next day. The desired sylphlike slenderness is never attained because, compulsively, he eats too much. The actual, empirical self becomes the offensive stranger to whom the idealized self happens to be tied, and the latter turns against this stranger with hate and contempt. The actual self becomes the victim of the proud idealized self" (pp. 111-12).

Karen Horney (1950). Neurosis and Human Growth. New York: W. W. Norton.

MY WEB 2.0 ^BETA actual self

Subscribe to tag "actual self" in: |

MY WEB 2.0 ^BETA idealized self

Subscribe to tag "idealized self" in: |

This article is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License. (See Copyrights for details.)