Needs of the Devoted Type
The needs of the Devoted type are derived from John M. Oldham's description of the Devoted style. In Stoic philosophical and psychological theory these needs are vices. They are analogous to Karen Horney's neurotic needs, which are better called irrational needs. They are irrational because they require things not in our power and involve false judgment of what is good or evil. (see G. Sterling).
Irrational needs are vices. The vices listed below are based on certain false values. The source of every vice is a false judgment of what is good or evil. But our judgments are in our power. Therefore, our vices are in our power.
The idealized image is chiefly a glorification of the needs which have developed (Horney, pg. 277).
- needs to care (Oldham, 108)
- needs to be loving, solicitous of others, concerned for their needs and feelings (108)
- needs to be a helpful team-player (108)
- needs to fulfill the needs of the group or of its leader, and others' directives and goals (108)
- needs to be thoroughly dedicated to the relationships in their lives (109)
- needs to work hard to keep their relationships together (109)
- needs to have the company of one or more people (109)
- needs to follow rather than lead (109)
- needs to be cooperative and respectful of authority and institutions (109)
- needs to rely on others and take their direction (109)
- needs to seek out others opinions, and to follow their advice, when making decisions (109)
- needs to promote good feelings between themselves and the important people in their lives (109)
- needs to be thoughtful of others and to please them (109)
- needs to do a good turn for key people in their lives even if it means enduring personal discomfort (109)
- needs to form new relationships after a painful loss of someone around whom their life was centered (109)
- needs attachments to center them in the universe and make them feel complete (110)
- needs to devote themselves to pleasing the principle people in their lives (110)
- needs to pay a lot of attention to significant others and to anticipate their needs (110)
- needs to do more of the work and make more of the sacrifices involved with keeping a relationship going (110)
- needs to assume the less dominant, more passive caretaking role, within their relationships (112)
- needs to idealize their mates and place them (along with most other people in their lives) on pedestals (113)
- needs to avoid criticism (114)
- needs to take responsibility for things that go wrong in the relationship (114)
- needs to worry about the short- or long-term fidelity of their spouses (114)
- needs affection and reassurance (114)
- needs to please, to take it upon themselves to make things better (114)
- needs to fill the void of a lost relationship as soon as possible (114-15)
- needs to think of themselves and their mates as one (117)
- needs to always be involved in a relationship (117)
- needs reassurance when they are worried about a relationship (117)
Dependent personality, or character, disorder is comprised of these and other irrational needs, or vices.
Values of the Devoted Type
Karen Horney (1950). Neurosis and Human Growth. New York: W. W. Norton.
John M. Oldham and Lois B. Morris (1995).
The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love, and Act the
Way You Do.
Rev. ed. New York: Bantam.
Grant Sterling (2005). "Core Stoicism." International Stoic Forum.